I know you’re wondering how the experiment ended up. I want so badly to tell you I was faithful to 30 minutes every day . . . but as I discussed with my mother earlier today, I am deeply NOT into lying. I got quite lax at the end. It was an experiment after all. But I must say that I became much more aware of how I spend my computer time, and I believe I have crushed a bizarre middle age (see how easily it’s rolling off the tongue now) addiction to Facebook. All’s well that ends adequately.
I have had times in my life when I wasn’t very good with honesty. Particularly the 18-24 range of my life. Now if you spend five minutes with me I will tell you anything you want to know and perhaps several things you didn’t. I was thinking about my dearest darling friend in the whole wide world. This chick is so protective I don’t even know if she likes me . . . but I adore her and I keep acting in good faith that she has positive feelings about me. Sometimes I walk away from our conversations wondering how uncomfortable she was as I spilled the beans on my every feeling from my family to the global economy to the daily use of sunscreen. She seems so in control while I make an emotional mess crying and screaming, getting my feelings hurt and then hugging everyone I see and laughing hysterically much too loudly.
One of my goals, now that I’m going to be 40, is to take it easier on myself. Half the emotional mess I make is only in my head (I think). And a loud laugh is better than no laugh at all.