What I say and what I do.

You haven’t heard much from me this week because I am in a situation that has left me anxious, distraught and fragile.  I analyze the motivation of everyone involved.  What did that Facebook post mean?  What did that book suggestion mean?  Are people just grumbling to me?  Are they going to do the right thing when the time comes?  Am I going to say and do the right thing when the time comes?  What responsibility do I need to claim as my own in this situation?

I’ll be honest with you.  I am having a hard time living out the faith I profess I believe. Forgiveness, grace and mercy are at the bottom of my list this week, yet forgiveness, grace and mercy are the top messages of my Bible.  God loves us so much He made a way for us to be forgiven and it cost Him a mighty price.

I’m not a person who can stay angry very long.  I long to be reconciled to those with whom I have fallen out, but I have learned over the years that some people need different boundaries after they have hurt us than before.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  It’s a part of humans living with other humans.

What I am working on now is getting past the place where that boundary is a large brick wall with an electric barbed wire fence and a guard with an assault rifle*.

*That’s with a wink for our blog-reader friend Dorothy.


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