Before I was worried I wasn’t going to make it. Now I am worried I have already peaked. I seem to be slowing down.
The journey is the reward.
I am running my own race.
There is no I in team. (I don’t think that one applies here.)
This morning Trainer Brent sat me down and said I need to let this go and just trust the training. I admit I think the worry/whining is probably starting to wear on the good people who have every confidence I can do this.
I ran into a sweet girl I know who is staying out at the beginning of my long running route. We’ll call her Heidi — which may or may not be her name, but it probably is. My head comes up to Heidi’s armpit. Heidi could run that 10K in her sleep and then run it backwards just for fun. In fact, she probably has.
HEIDI: Mary Lisa! Did I see you out running by the cabin?! You were booking! We were so impressed you were out that far!
ME: Well, I was only going one way. Brent dropped me off.
HEIDI: That’s still so great!!
ME: I’m very nervous. What if I burst into tears at the end?
HEIDI: You might!!
ME: What if I’m so slow that I don’t get back until the fireworks that night?
HEIDI: Then they will be going off in celebration of you!!
What I really enjoyed about this conversation is that Heidi did not poo-poo my fears. Yes — you might start crying. Yes — you might come in last but that’s not a reason not to do it.
SO . . . let me state for the record: I am going to run. I am going to finish. I am fairly confident I will finish before they take the stuff down. I am not confident I will finish before they start the award ceremony.
But I am going to have my own award ceremony in my head. And I am going to accept my own award on behalf of every little girl who wanted to melt in to the floor at the shouts of “MOVE UP!” when it was her turn to serve the volley ball.
Every girl who wanted to fade into the background of the ball field while hearing the shouts of “EASY OUT! MOVE UP!” when it was her turn to bat.
When her own team groaned when it was her turn.
When she tried to throw herself down the steps in the hopes she would injure something and not have to participate in Track and Field Day.
We’re going to have a victory next week.
Oh, yes. There will be victory.